Tree Youkai
by Izumi Yukiko
Summary: Note to self: Always leave adult supervision behind with small children, new puppies, men, and demon lords.


It was the smell that hit her before anything else. The horrible stench of something melted, scorched, burned made her wrinkle her nose, her eyes narrow as they started to water and the happy tune of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" to stall in her throat.

Frowning in worry on the off chance that somehow Reginald had managed to chew some of the wires to the strings of lights on the Christmas tree, she rushed through the foyer to the living room, forgoing even the removal of her shoes.

The sight that met her caused her arms to slacken, let the brown paper sack with its new Christmas tree skirt to hit the floor with a dull wham. She'd only been gone for about ten minutes! It was the dog's fault anyway since the puppy had decided that the pretty cloth under the fake tree was obviously set there for him to gnaw on. A swat with a newspaper, a few angered words and a fuming owner later, convinced him otherwise.

At the moment, her blue-grey eyes sought passed the wreckage that was once the sparkling color cordinated pine to the culprit who began her trek out into the snow and cold for a new decoration. Currently, the little brown puppy with his black accented fur was sprawled out in front of the empty fireplace systematically dismembering the star that had once been at the top of her tree.

Vaguely she let the ludicrous thought pass through her head that at least he was doing it efficiently since all but one of the points of the star were not seperated from the round orb in the middle they had been attached to. As it was, he was covered in gold glitter now, so it looked almost like he was a holy little demon sent from the heavens just to spread his own holida cheer. Lucky her.

Pulling off her gloves absently, her attention was drawn to the tall male figure in a designer business suit currently holding a medieval sword half at the ready in one clawed hand while poking at the debris on the floor by the front window with his leather Italian shoes.

He had yet to turn and face her, even though she knew he was well aware of her presence. His youkai senses made it easy for him to detect most anything, and she was a tad surprised he hadn't passed out from the overwhelming odor of burnt plastic and wires.

When she swept his form a second time, a numbing anger began to spread from her stomach all the way to her very toes, her eyebrow twitching despite her efforts to keep calm.

Stomping in a few paces, she came to a halt behind him and demanded hotly, "Sesshoumaru, what the hell did you just do"  
His golden eyes left their narrowed perusal of what had once been a happy string of singing santas to settle on her irate fetures blandly. "How many times have I reiterated to you, woman, to keep the security system up in this house?"

Faltering at the random question, she gave him a puzzled stare before biting out, "What does that have to do with what i just asked you?"

Expression unwavering, he let the tip of his sword lay towards the polished hardwood floor, shifting till he could face her. "When you answer my question perhaps I will consider entertaining your own."

She debated on the notion of grabbing up one blackened mangled branch and skewering him with it in the middle of his green silk clad chest. It isn't like the blood would stain anything anyway. The damn floor was already tarnished beyond redemption.

Attemping to find the same control her husband somehow kept no matter what the situation, she crossed her red winter coat clad arms over her chest. "There was no reason to set it since I was just going down the street to the store to by a new Christmas tree skirt. Now, answer my question!"

A scowl made his ivory brows draw down in a V, his bangs framing the markings of his heritage starkly, but she was impervious to the beauty of his form right now. Anger was a great killer for admiration.

"Your own foolishness nearly got you killed, woman. If I hadn't arrived home before you had, this youkai would have maimed you at the least. Even your poor excuse for a guard dog wouldn't have helped you."

The mention of said dog made her glance over to Reginald to find that he had moved on from dismembording and was now growling with joy as he chewed on the tallest point of the tree.

If anything, this made her temper raise another notch, if that was even possible, so that she was all but grinding her teeth to keep from doing something drastic like grabbing the arm holding his weapon and biting it off.

At the continued silence, she snapped, "Well? Answer me damn it!" The sudden way his features went completely blank like they always did anytime she was mad at him and letting him know it, cued her into the fact that he was getting ready to give her one of his patented 'you're a woman and acting irrational' lines that always made her want to grab the knife from the kitchen and castrate him.

She wasn't disappointed. Unfortunately.

"I have no idea what you are talking about since I have never heard of a Christmas Tree. The appalling lack of concern for the things that really matter make me quesiton your sanity. Perhaps this Sesshoumaru should have a guard set out to patrol the premises if you can't seem to manage to set up the safety system that was installed just for you."

That's it! She was going to kill him! It was a plus, really. Think of all the money she would save on bills, and taking back those damn gifts she had spent hours hunting overcrowded stores for him would make a nice nesteg for her and Reginald to go out and buy their own place. Far from arrogant males who liked to push their archaic views on women on people.

"You know what I find appalling, Sesshoumaru?" She waited for him to quirk a brow in inquiry before continuing in a sickly sweet tone. "I find it appalling that you destroyed something that took me hours to create so that our home would look beautiful for all those pompous business associates of yours you just have to invite over for dinner every week. Perhaps I should make up the couch for you, since that will be your new sleeping place for the rest of this year."

The scowl was back full force now, and she was happy inside that she'd managed to get at him somewhat. If she could irritate him a fraction of how much he was her, then life was good no matter what the damage to her decorating.

Ice crystals hung from his voice when he said, "If you would speak plainly and let me know what it is you think I have annihilated that was so important to you. Then maybe we can move on to why you think it alright not to keep this house and yourself protected when I am not here to do it."

Throwing her hands up in agitation, she pointed an accusing finger at the mess of charred remains of Christmas joy spread out grotesquely in their living room. "This is what I am referring to! Why did you find it neccessary to Toukijin the Christmas tree when I had just spent all afternoon dragging the heavy thing in here, put it up on my own and spend more time than I should have making sure it matched the room?"

The puzzled flash of his gold eyes turned to where she was gesturing before he glanced back to her. "You put this here"  
A burgeoning suspicion began to override her anger until she had an unsettling thought that nearly made her let out a hysterical laugh.

Swallowing it back, she asked tentatively, "You mean, you thought the tree was a youkai?"

An affronted look overtook his handsome features, the magenta stripes on his high cheekbones standing out starkly in his pale skin. "Isn't that what it is? It had tiny red demons singing hideously on it. Even your mutt was hiding from the damn thing behind the sofa when I came in."

A few seconds of silence slipped by before Kagome couldn't keep it in any more and began laughing, ignoring how her humor seemed to irritate him more. "You mean, you thought, that this tree was going to kill people?" At the end of her question she went off again into peals of laughter, his subtle annoyed growl doing nothing to make them stop.

Reginald, noticing that both his owners were now not as angry as before, got up from his resting place to trek happily towards them, leaving pawprints of gold glitter in his wake. Getting to his surrogate mother, he reached up with his oversized puppy feet and yipped happily up at her, the woman obliging him by leaning down to pick him up and cradle him to her heaving chest as she continued to laugh.

Wiping the mirthful tears from her eyes on his brown coat, her own face now dusted with the sparklng specks, she continued smiling while looking at her now angered mate. Smirking, she said in a sing-song voice that she knew drove him nuts, "Some one needs to read the books I got him on culture more often."

Putting his head at a regal tilt, he said frigidly, "This Sesshoumaru does not need to do anything, woman. Nor does this Sesshoumaru needs a mate who isn't so daft and who doesn't litter my home with her ideas on hideous decorating."

Well, that killed her happy mood. Getting angry again, she hugged Reginald to her before letting a sharp smile that showed more fang than it should at the dog youkai. Keeping her puppy close, she turned to leave the chaotic mess, calling over her shoulder carelessly, "I will be sure and leave out that blue comforter you like so well. It gets cold in here since you didn't order the firewood like you were supposed . I remember someone saying it would not be that cold this early, yet it is snowing."

Pausing at the entryway, she turned to give him another winning smile before adding, "Oh, and clean up your mess, Sesshoumaru. I don't feel like sweeping and mopping and since your know so much more about decorating than I do, I'll let you get to it." Before he could even form a sentence, his wife had disappeared,the cooing and coddling of her blasted dog ringing in his ears.

Growling in frustration, he kicked at the half-melted face of one of the singing gnomes that had once been on the tree in an uncharacteristic display of anger. Damn it! Now he was going to have to go back out there and go shopping for those red pieces of candy she loved so well and get something for the damn mut to make up for this.

He knew that he would, indeed, be settling his over-long body on that concrete hard couch for at least a week. Not to mention, he was well aware that he would have to be the one cleaning up this mess since she was notorious for not only booting him to the couch whenever she was angry, but also refusing to do a damn thing for him until her ire had cooled.

Cursing under his breath, he tossed Toukijin onto the cream colored couch and began his search for the dustpan and broom. If this was what Christmas was all about, he was having her convert to a Shintoist at the first of the year.

A/N: Thank you Nostawen for your help. 


End file.
